Babies, Brownies and Blessings

I'm typing without glasses/contacts or any other sight enhancer and I.CAN.SEE! Dumbfounded, overwhelmed, shocked are more my reactions than excited or ecstatic. Partly because it's so weird, partly because it's not perfect yet. Here's the skinny on the last week... Surgery day: Arrived eager and not really nervous. The guy who was ahead of me came out of his procedure a little Valium-tipsy and said it was the "easiest thing he's ever done". Sounds good. Due to a reaction I've had with sedatives I wasn't given my Valium until the doctor was sure I wouldn't cross-react. Once I got the go-ahead I was given the Valium, paid for the procedure and given the rundown on what to expect, what to do in the week to follow, etc. Ten minutes later the doctor was ready for me. My Valium was not. BUT I wasn't nervous and just thought, "eh, it'll be fine. Easiest thing I've ever done." Fast forward just a couple minutes after ...

I was 6 years old when I first sat in an optometrist's chair, eager for the glasses that were in my near future. I even fudged a little and said I couldn't see as well as I could just to be sure I would get them! The glasses I chose were as unique as I felt I was, with the bows at the bottom instead of the top. My grandpa always joked that I had my glasses on upside down. Yowzers  At 12 my eyes were quite bad with an astigmatism to boot. Unable to see a darn thing without glasses, my folks had mercy on my and I got contacts. Had to do gas permeables because of the astigmatism. The following many years were full of popping those things in and out, cleaning them in my mouth in moments of desperation, pulling over on the side of the road to scrounge for one that exited my eye without my permission. Oh yes, choker and all! Then I became a nurse working night shift and the contacts no longer worked well. Dry and tired eyes were the perfect combination ...

Intensive Care Unit. Those three words give pause to anyone who hears them in relation to the status of someone they know. It indicates a tightrope walk between life and death many times and it's seriousness is not over-stated. Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Just one little word changes perception. Scary? Certainly. Teetering? Sometimes. Long-term? Often. Babies? So fragile but darling...can I touch, hold, visit? Stable? For weeks, even months. Sucker Punched? Yep, out of left field the world turns upside down quicker than you can say bradycardia. In the NICU we can get lulled into a status quo that makes those sudden turns breathtaking. It shouldn't be unexpected, it's an ICU after all. But somehow, when we do what we do well, we aren't prepared to have our skills fail us. We aren't braced for the hit. And the sucker-punch reality of the NICU hits again with a staggering blow. Stunned? Yes. Disbelief? For sure. What did I miss? Over an...

She's the picture you see in the movies...princess nightgown, plush puppy, favorite blankie. Sweaty hair swept across her precious forehead, cheeks flush from sleep, her chest rising and falling. The tantrum that got her there early long forgotten in the quiet of her rhythmic breathing. He's the picture you see in the movies... head tipped to one side, camo comforter across his bare little boy chest, pair of six guns peaking from under the pillow, favorite blankie hidden but there. The mean words that got him there early long forgotten in the flutter of his "too long to be wasted on a boy" lashes as he dreams. Big He is the picture you see in the movies... newly-long hair tossed across his face, favorite blankie now stowed away. His stance even at rest one of strength. He's becoming a man, but my boy child while he sleeps. The strength that brought tears to his brother from a punch tossed in anger now silent as he rests. It seemed possible that the en...

The kids and I were at an indoor playground a few months ago with a dear friend. We were chatting during a rare moment of uninterrupted conversation while the kids played. In my periphery I noticed that 2 of my 3 had broken the "you've gotta have socks on" rule. I stopped talking mid-sentence and prepared to yell across the gym to the kids. My friend stopped me and said, "let the owner do it, maybe they'll listen better".   At that moment I was at a cross-roads in parenting: do I parent my kids or let someone else do it. What also became crystal clear was that there was more to this for me. The question I was actually asking myself was this: if I wait for someone else to tell my kids to follow the rules, what kind of mom will the owner think I am? Would I appear disrespectful? Lazy? Clueless and unaware? Would she think I'm a bad mom and I'm what's wrong with the world? Why does a little thing like telling my kids to put on thei...

A little while back I was talking to my folks about what's what and who's who. Small town catch-up, you know. We got on the subject of someone and I made a comment or two that was out of line. (Don't worry, you don't know this person nor would they ever see this.) I said something about how great it was that anyone would be willing to help Mr. Uffda (names have been changed to protect the innocent). My mom's response has been pinging around in my head ever since: "Well, he's a person, too." Ugh, yes, he is. He IS a person, too. God made him. God loves him. He feels, hurts, thinks, knows. When did I forget that? Since when is it ok for me to have a heyday at someone else's expense and just call it "speaking the truth"? Is it really my place to "say what everyone is thinking" or "call a spade a spade"? What about the fact that he's a person, too? I know I'm not the only one who has forgotten...

...but you can't pick your friend's battles. If you're a parent you've seen other people who aren't parenting as well as you the same way you do. Isn't it tempting to think you've got it together and they don't? At least in that brief moment that your kid is NOT doing the naughty thing their's is doing? I know I've touched on this before but in those years before parenting toddlers I had all the answers. All.the.answers. Ask my poor sister who had kids before me and she'll tell you it's true. Here's what I know now: I don't have all the answers. Ready for a shocker? Neither do you. I mean that in the nicest way possible... What is true of all parents is they pick their battles when it comes to raising and disciplining kids. Some don't consciously pick them but you know by the behaviors you see what is tolerated or not tolerated. Some people can't handle noisy kids so they shush all the time. Can't ...