Babies, Brownies and Blessings

  Come, they told me...a newborn King to see...our finest gifts we bring... I have NO gift to bring...that's fit to give a king... Do you ever relate to the little drummer girl (I know he was a boy, but indulge me?)? The little poor girl who was invited to see the king but felt she had nothing worthy to bring? "I don't have a fine gift, what I have to offer isn't good enough." Has that line of thinking been part of your inner dialogue? Have you ever tasted someone's cooking and thought "I could never make that, she's so much better than I." Ever heard someone sing and thought "Compared to that I sound like a mournful cat, I wish I was as good as her." When was the last time you walked into someone's house and thought "I'd give anything to be able to decorate like that, she's so creative...unlike me." If I could cook better, sing better, create more, enjoy my kids more, give more, dance like her, wr...

Air in...air out...deep breath in...deep breath out... Anyone else had a year that has been so unpredictable that the only thing that has stayed the same is the rise and fall of your chest? I sat down tonight and took a deep breath. Felt like the first one I've taken in a long time. The kids were in rare form tonight (actually not sure why I say that it's rare for them to be at each other constantly but...). Pretty sure the whole neighborhood heard someone crying or yelling or both tonight. Wait, did you know we have a NEIGHBORHOOD???? That's right, it's been so long since I've blogged that our house is now finished and inhabited. By US! And we LOVE it! There were a crazy amount of detours along the way. The project took a few weeks shy of a year. Yep, you read right, A YEAR. It turns out God shows up in big ways when you're truly living day by day. When you're not sure if the plans you laid are ever going to come to fruition. In thos...

BigBoy #1 came home from school the other day a little quieter than usual. After talking about his day a bit he said, "I spent my last two reading hours telling Suzy* about God and she wants to know Him, too!" He has been talking about Suzy since the beginning of the year because her folks don't believe in God or church and he thinks she needs to know (isn't it sweet how God works?). We talked a bit about what he told her, "we just talked about God and Jesus and the New Testament." My heart swelled as I told him the Holy Spirit was with him during that and I was so proud that he followed Jesus' leading of his heart. I was SO proud and was inwardly patting myself on the back for raising such a kind, sensitive child. Less than one minute later he was out the door, picked up a rock, chucked it and it hit his friend. AND I'm humbled again... His heart is good but his brain and hands are apparently not connected. *not her real name

A friend recently told me of an experience she and her husband had with an insurance salesman. They are Dave Ramsey -ans so they were well aware that term life insurance is the only way to go but were getting the full picture so they could make an informed decision. When the man came back with his recommendations the monthly financial commitment was $800. $800??? A MONTH??? Somewhat aghast they explained to him that while they want to be smart they also do trust that God will take care of them and feel that life insurance to the tune of $800 a month was overkill. His response went something like this: Well, I like to take care of as much as I can myself and let God fill in the gaps . I laughed at the absurdity of that interaction and chuckled a bit at Mr. Insurance-Man's disillusionment but in the days since, I can't get that line out of my head. Because he put to words the way I live my life sometimes. I like to take care of as much as I can myself ...

For months (maybe years?) I've been searching for the perfect pair of red shoes. A cute little pair to wear with jeans and a t-shirt or a cute dress- versatile and adorable and comfortable. High expectations, I know! A couple weekends ago I came across the.perfect.pair at Sears for $17 and I had to have them!  How cute are these? Like a school girl I was so excited to wear them! The weather was iffy but I didn't care. We were going to walk around the mall for a few hours but I didn't care. They were a little bit sloppy but I didn't care.   After a few hours of shopping, this is what I had to show for my cute red shoes- a big old blister on my ugly little toe (FYI, that polish on the little toe is from September. Truly I should take better care of those babies).Bummer. Lesson learned but here's the deal: they are darn cute. And I'm going to keep wearing them. It's a price I'm willing to pay. ;)

...Valentine's Day snuck up on me like every other year. Seriously, I do realize it's always February 14th but I just can't pull it together in an organized manner! Thankfully I have a husband who does well with that particular holiday which makes me a grateful woman. The boys woke to a balloon by their beds and a scavenger hunt for a box of chocolates. BabyGirl to a life-sized bear balloon and a much smaller box of chocolates (he is a smart man!). I, to a dozen red roses on my night stand. :) The perfect start to the day ended in a very normal way... ...one bear balloon cut apart by a 5 year old who was being disciplined and was alone in his room with the balloon and a scissors (why the heck did he have those?!?) resulting in the permanent loss of his box of chocolates. ...a beautiful plate of fruit creatively Valentiney rejected by two of my "not-hungry" children (who, FYI, are ALWAYS hungry). ...an early bedtime for my artificial-flavor-and-color dr...

Have you noticed the lack of blogging lately? (I know you have better things to do but maybe you've missed me?) ;) It's not the only thing lagging in my life. Our building project and subsequent living changes have spiraled me into a state of paralysis. That bad, you ask? Nope, can't blame it on the in-laws (who are being wonderfully tolerant of us!). I find that when I'm unable to control things perfectly I become ineffective and paralyzed in those areas. If I can't write the perfect blog that hundreds dozens will love and resonate with, if I can't make the house perfectly clean, if I can't get the laundry completely done, the house totally clean- it's then that I'm tempted to stop trying. And not just stop trying but start to feel inadequate, ineffective and generally paralyzed by the drive for perfection.   What to do? We all know I (and unfortunately, you too) are imperfect. There's no way around it. Funny enough, perfection ...

There's a saying in the medical field that goes something like "if you didn't chart it, it didn't happen". Basically it's saying if you don't write it down no one will know you did it and they'll assume you didn't. I find myself subscribing to a similar statement that goes something like this: if you don't complain about it, you didn't do it. Ever get caught in that trap? Start believing the lie that all you do will be overlooked if you don't draw attention to you troubles, real or perceived,  and make a fuss? Feel the need to chime in when someone else starts talking about the things they have to do, the obligations in life, schedules to keep? Listening to other people talk about their busy lives pulls me into this unproductive mode of complaining. It seems that complaining, for me, has turned into the "Great Equalizer". You want to tell me about how hard your life is, I'll see your trouble and raise you! W...

BabyGirl keeps us on our toes. I'm about to rename her "Little Miss Thang". She is something. Her favorite show is Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, a PBS spin-off of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. Each episode features a little jingle that gets stuck in your head worse than Feliz Navidad. Big Boy #1 thinks the show should be banned, he gets so mad when one of those songs get stuck in his head!   Today's song had some little actions to it and as I was wandering around the house I heard Little Miss Thang singing...     When something seems bad turn it around and find something good.   Not bad advice and hard to ignore coming from my blinged out, double-fisting 2 year old! 

We finally have the beginnings of a roof! The building and eventual completion of our home has been a consuming project in the last many months. What we had hoped to be a 3-4 month ordeal has now turned into no less than 6. The delays have been numerous from an overworked drafter, to a harvesting lumber quoter, to backordered floor trusses to finally a flu-ridden carpentry crew. Uffda! As we are nearing the start of our 4th month here with my extremely patient and loving in-laws, I'm amazed at how time has flown and somehow inched by at the same time. If you had told us at the start that we would be without a home for 6 months we would never have gone down this road. NEVER. Being homeless is a crazy feeling even when you have a wonderful place to temporarily call home. I wasn't prepared for these feelings. I sort of pride myself on my flexibility. ...,pride does come before the fall... As it turns out, I really do like a place to call my own. Someplace to leav...

At times in life the way ahead seems clear. No turns in sight, only a hill or valley who's resolution is apparent and predictable. The prayers of my heart have produced resounding consistency in answers and I am at ease with where I am headed. But then...     Here I stand, knowing that there is a grand design in this journey but uncertain why this road is necessary. What is He saying? Why this landscape? Why the extra miles? The extra hours? The frustration, the tears, the confusion?   Didn't I hear correctly? Weren't You saying this is the way?   And then a glimpse of the lesson. An appreciation for what is now amidst the yearning for what will be . The realization that this will change me forever... Make me more grateful, more aware, more reliant on Him. Because it's not about the destination, it's about the expedition. He is in this place, this fork in the road. He is walking with me,...