Babies, Brownies and Blessings

I've written several blogposts on being overwhelmed. Feeling like I don't have enough time, sleep, order, solitude. Just before I hit "publish" I hit "save" instead. What right do I have to complain? The fact is, God has blessed me hugely. My complaints are about lack of time, sleep, order, solitude. Not about a dying family member. A terminal illness. A child with special needs. A sick baby. An unfaithful husband. Lack of friends. How do you reconcile what you're feeling with the pain of the world around you? Is it ok to feel maxed out even though, relatively speaking, life has been easy? God has allowed us each to carry a different load. Our burdens look different, we handle the weight of them differently. While one mom would give anything to have her sick baby just cry, another may be so tired from her fussy healthy  baby that she's at breaking point. The little things of life can chip away at us. The ebbing and flowing of l...

Ten years ago I married the man I loved more than anyone. Ten years later, I love him more than I could have fathomed possible on our wedding day. The love I felt then, I have come to discover, was only a drop in the bucket. Experiencing life together brings about an intimacy that can't be fabricated. Ten years later we have three kids 5 years old and younger. Our conversations are interrupted constantly. Our time is not ours. Our laps are not ours. Even my boobs are not ours. That does a little number on the intimacy factor. As we were discussing this feeling of disconnect the only conclusion I came to is: We need more babysitters! I heard a sermon a few years ago on keeping a marriage strong and the pastor said this: Your marriage needs one night a week, one weekend a month, one week a year alone together. Sound logistically challenging? It's tough to find the time and money and willing personnel to cover childcare for that amount of time. W...

Do you have a pair of pants or a sweatshirt that you can't live without? The thing you wear when you're feeling _________ (fill in the blank). I have a few pair of jeans. Two of them are identical. The other few are different styles. One of those I've dubbed my Uffda Jeans. The ones I put on when I know I need to get out of my PJ pants but want to feel good, comfy, un-bulgy. They are forgiving but not quite "Mom Jeans". Loose in the thigh, always fit around the waist (because they ride low on my hips). I can gain a few and these jeans don't make me pay... I never have to wonder how my Uffda Jeans will feel. I know they will fit. Doesn't matter if I just washed them. There will be no squats, lunges, or leg kicks necessary to get them stretched back out to normal . I don't have to lay down on the bed to get them buttoned. No need for a loose shirt because they don't muffin-top me. I love my Uffda Jeans.

Nearly 24 hours have passed since we said goodbye to the nasty tonsils. The procedure went well, the waking up a little rough, and the waiting to go home a little long. BigBoy #2 surprised me with his voracious appetite for popsicles. He licked down 8. Sucked down 3 half pints of chocolate milk. Went to the bathroom 23 times. In 6 hours. Today he has been eating ice cream and taking his meds. By the time we are done the meds are going to be the most expensive part. Simply because we have to bribe him to take them since they rank high on the yuckiness scale. So far it's cost us a couple Chuggington trains and a DoodlePad. We may start taking donations. :) The care was excellent at Children's and I'm sure the fact that I'm employed there helped a bit. I felt right at home and didn't struggle too much saying goodbye after Caleb fell asleep. I saw several friends and was blessed to run into a co-worker as we were walking into the hospital. Her hug was j...

This feels a little like deja vu. Tomorrow is Big Boy #2's surgery. Out come the tonsils and adenoids. In with a healthy boy! We've been so grateful that God has surrounded us with a little bubble these last few weeks. It has been a record number of days between illness for our little man. The last round of antibiotics and steroids must've done the trick. So many of you have been praying for his health and we're so appreciative. Now for the hard part. Keeping food out of his tummy. I'm considering one or several of the following options: duct-taping his mouth zip-tying the fridge Tossing out ALL the food he likes tonight after he goes to sleep Keeping him up until 3am so he'll sleep right up until our 8:30am departure Waking him at 1am for a last big bowl of cereal I'm open to any suggestions you may have. Bri will be on special fridge detail from 5-9am. We learned our lesson, gotta play offensive with this kid (since my defense failed ...

I've been a reader my whole life. We didn't have a TV in our house until I was a tween. Reading was strongly encouraged to combat boredom. Lucky for Mom, my sisters and I (in particular) loved to read. Fast foreward a couple decades and my love of reading is still present. My reason for reading is different. I read to escape. I love to delve into the life of someone else. Feel the love, pain, joy, heartache, expectation. I read mostly "feel-good" books, though. Real life has enough sad endings for me. If I'm reading a story, it better end well. As I've been talking to some of my nurse-friends lately about reading I realized that it's an escape route for them as well. Many care providers have the joy and struggle of working with people who are in crisis. Life is not as they intended. Sometimes we can only do so much to fix it. When my head hits the pillow at night I can't always turn off the feelings I've seen or experienced at w...

My personality has a flaw in it. Well, several, but we're just going to hit one today. When I like something, I like it to death. I can't get it out of my head, or my stomach, depending on what we're talking about.   I could eat the same food for months. And I do sometimes. I just can't get enough! Until I've had enough. And then I'm done.   I'm eating something right now that I just realized I'm at the end of. Palmiers from Trader Joes. They are like little pastry rolls with parmesan and herbs in them. Absolutely delcious! But they don't hit the spot anymore.   I've done this with so many things: Sugar cookies from Perkins Mrs. Smith's Apple Pie Pearson's thin mints (frozen) Doritos (several times but I keep going back to them) Smooth and Melty Mints Sublime Ice Cream Sandwiches from Trader Joes (at 440 cal. a pop, it's a good thing I'm over them!) Chocolate Covered Pretzels Almond Steamers from Dunn Broth...