Did that really just happen??
I had a weird experience yesterday.
As I as walking with my neighbor and her baby, a car came around a corner rather fast requiring us to take evasive action.
Our road has lots of blind corners and whenever walking it we are on the defensive, watching for cars in front and behind.
In a reactive moment, I held my hand up to the car (hand, not finger!) as a gesture to slow down a bit.
We continued walking and were commenting that the car seemed to be going rather fast and yikes!
In short order, that car returned and a guy in his 20s slowed down to talk to us.
Assuming he was lost, I walked over to his window and greeted him.
He promptly stated "don't ever hold your hand up to me, I was going the speed limit."
Oh.
Ok.
What followed was a ridiculously disrespectful and just crazy conversation.
I responded that we were walking with a baby and it felt like he came around the corner fast.
My goal was just to express concern but that's it!
He came back with the fact he was driving the speed limit, hadn't done anything wrong, knew exactly what he was doing and was in complete control.
I said, great! My concern was that my young kids ride their bikes on this road and aren't always aware of cars coming quickly (as much as we adults were) and I would hate for an accident to happen that would ruin his life and mine.
He asked how long I'd lived on the road and told me he'd been there for 20 years so he knew what he was doing.
Ok.
(I should've asked how long he'd been driving, that would have shut him up...maybe.)
I may have said something about how he should be teachable and just hear what I'm saying, to which I just got more argument.
I restated that we were all good, I was just concerned that even at the speed limit that corner was too fast and he maintained his very offensive and disrespectful stance.
I finally said, "Great, we want the same thing, have a wonderful day" and walked away from the car.
Deep breath.
What was that??
Did that really just happen?
As I have contemplated this interaction I feel that this is just another example of how poorly we as a society give and receive instruction.
My gesture indicated to him some sort of attack and he came back swinging.
Doesn't this seem disproportionate?
I raised my hand, that's it!
I was calm as we were discussing why I did that and he could not see that there was anything he could change.
What I did was so personal and offensive to him that he couldn't live with himself if he didn't come back and confront two women and a baby.
I blessed and released this young man and prayed that God would use this interaction for his good.
I still feel like I jumped into the Twilight Zone and had an out of body experience that I'm trying to make (more) sense of.
Moral of the story: teach your children to be respectful. This starts with us as parents demonstrating respect, in action and deed. If you get pulled over by a police officer for an offense that you committed, OWN IT! Show your kids what that looks like to make a mistake, be corrected, and recover. Correct and instruct your children when they need it, or they may end up in the face of a stranger one day because they don't know how to take constructive criticism (if you can even say that's what I did). This does need to be TAUGHT!
And pray that an aptly spoken word will come back into their spirit when it matters.
Meanwhile, I'm going to just have to cover my 10 year old (who wears his helmet!) in even more prayer as I send him off on his bike to school every day down that same road.
*If you haven't read Boundaries with Kids by Henry Cloud and Dr. Townsend, I so highly recommend it! I think I'll be marinating in this book for the next 10 years as we parent children, tweens and teens. It's absolute parenting GOLD!
As I as walking with my neighbor and her baby, a car came around a corner rather fast requiring us to take evasive action.
Our road has lots of blind corners and whenever walking it we are on the defensive, watching for cars in front and behind.
In a reactive moment, I held my hand up to the car (hand, not finger!) as a gesture to slow down a bit.
We continued walking and were commenting that the car seemed to be going rather fast and yikes!
In short order, that car returned and a guy in his 20s slowed down to talk to us.
Assuming he was lost, I walked over to his window and greeted him.
He promptly stated "don't ever hold your hand up to me, I was going the speed limit."
Oh.
Ok.
What followed was a ridiculously disrespectful and just crazy conversation.
I responded that we were walking with a baby and it felt like he came around the corner fast.
My goal was just to express concern but that's it!
He came back with the fact he was driving the speed limit, hadn't done anything wrong, knew exactly what he was doing and was in complete control.
I said, great! My concern was that my young kids ride their bikes on this road and aren't always aware of cars coming quickly (as much as we adults were) and I would hate for an accident to happen that would ruin his life and mine.
He asked how long I'd lived on the road and told me he'd been there for 20 years so he knew what he was doing.
Ok.
(I should've asked how long he'd been driving, that would have shut him up...maybe.)
I may have said something about how he should be teachable and just hear what I'm saying, to which I just got more argument.
I restated that we were all good, I was just concerned that even at the speed limit that corner was too fast and he maintained his very offensive and disrespectful stance.
I finally said, "Great, we want the same thing, have a wonderful day" and walked away from the car.
Deep breath.
What was that??
Did that really just happen?
As I have contemplated this interaction I feel that this is just another example of how poorly we as a society give and receive instruction.
My gesture indicated to him some sort of attack and he came back swinging.
Doesn't this seem disproportionate?
I raised my hand, that's it!
I was calm as we were discussing why I did that and he could not see that there was anything he could change.
What I did was so personal and offensive to him that he couldn't live with himself if he didn't come back and confront two women and a baby.
I blessed and released this young man and prayed that God would use this interaction for his good.
I still feel like I jumped into the Twilight Zone and had an out of body experience that I'm trying to make (more) sense of.
Moral of the story: teach your children to be respectful. This starts with us as parents demonstrating respect, in action and deed. If you get pulled over by a police officer for an offense that you committed, OWN IT! Show your kids what that looks like to make a mistake, be corrected, and recover. Correct and instruct your children when they need it, or they may end up in the face of a stranger one day because they don't know how to take constructive criticism (if you can even say that's what I did). This does need to be TAUGHT!
And pray that an aptly spoken word will come back into their spirit when it matters.
Meanwhile, I'm going to just have to cover my 10 year old (who wears his helmet!) in even more prayer as I send him off on his bike to school every day down that same road.
*If you haven't read Boundaries with Kids by Henry Cloud and Dr. Townsend, I so highly recommend it! I think I'll be marinating in this book for the next 10 years as we parent children, tweens and teens. It's absolute parenting GOLD!
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