All In a Day
For the last few weeks (or months) I've been feeling very unproductive. Like everything I do gets either eaten up, dirtied, or destroyed before anyone would notice that it was even done. All I can see are the things that I haven't done: baby books barely started, dentist appointments not made, piles of stuff to sort out later, clothes that are too big or too small that need to be put in storage...and the list goes on. So I thought I'd write down everything I do in a day and see if I felt better about what does get done instead of just seeing what was left undone. At the start I thought I'd feel so good about all that I was able to accomplish and here's how the day began...
12:35 am- feed baby girl
1:50 am- fix big boy #2 blanket
2:40am- help big boy #2 go potty, get water
5:00 am- feed baby girl
6:45 am- awaken by big boy #1
Make morning cup of tea
Make pancakes for BB #1
Check FB, Email, CL
Load of Laundry
BB #2 up
Help BB #2 get dressed
Put laundry away
Dose of medicine for BB #2
Get cereal for BB #2
Pump for morning bottle
Read the Word
Fill out Sunday School registration forms for boys
Help BB #2 find his toy ambulance
Wash dishes
Freeze breastmilk
BG awake
Feed BG
Bathe and dress BG (and smooch her to pieces!)
And that's where I stopped. It was 9 am and I had finally taken time to smooch on my kids. I realized that in my desire to be productive I was missing a big part of who God made me to be. I am my children's mom. The only mom they get. When I look at the list of things I "accomplished" I realized that anyone could do pretty much any of it, nothing about it screams "Mom" (well, except for breastfeeding!). Perhaps that's an idicator of a need for change? To stop more, not be driven by a "to-do" list. Because none of that really matters. Not when it's broken down into small fragment like that. And how often do I look for satisfaction in doing those things and end up disappointed because it seem like nobody noticed anyway? I realized today that it's the whole picture that counts. It's the love that all those things are done with that makes me a mom and not just a servant. And that is God's design. He gave me the desires of my heart: a husband, 3 beautiful children, a home of my own. Now I get to care for it, to HIS glory, not mine. Who knew that was where this little exercise would take me?
12:35 am- feed baby girl
1:50 am- fix big boy #2 blanket
2:40am- help big boy #2 go potty, get water
5:00 am- feed baby girl
6:45 am- awaken by big boy #1
Make morning cup of tea
Make pancakes for BB #1
Check FB, Email, CL
Load of Laundry
BB #2 up
Help BB #2 get dressed
Put laundry away
Dose of medicine for BB #2
Get cereal for BB #2
Pump for morning bottle
Read the Word
Fill out Sunday School registration forms for boys
Help BB #2 find his toy ambulance
Wash dishes
Freeze breastmilk
BG awake
Feed BG
Bathe and dress BG (and smooch her to pieces!)
And that's where I stopped. It was 9 am and I had finally taken time to smooch on my kids. I realized that in my desire to be productive I was missing a big part of who God made me to be. I am my children's mom. The only mom they get. When I look at the list of things I "accomplished" I realized that anyone could do pretty much any of it, nothing about it screams "Mom" (well, except for breastfeeding!). Perhaps that's an idicator of a need for change? To stop more, not be driven by a "to-do" list. Because none of that really matters. Not when it's broken down into small fragment like that. And how often do I look for satisfaction in doing those things and end up disappointed because it seem like nobody noticed anyway? I realized today that it's the whole picture that counts. It's the love that all those things are done with that makes me a mom and not just a servant. And that is God's design. He gave me the desires of my heart: a husband, 3 beautiful children, a home of my own. Now I get to care for it, to HIS glory, not mine. Who knew that was where this little exercise would take me?
I love it! Your schedule is exhausting to just read!! you go girl!
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